so much better.

all of the kids' birthdays are a little rough for me. i spend a little too much time reminiscing. i get a little nostalgic for their younger years. this is the first year i have done that with gw. i have enjoyed nearly every moment of his three years, and the five before that. being pregnant, seeing them each for the first time, smelling their soft necks and holding them close while they nurse, watching them lift their heads and clap their hands for the first time, kissing real and not-so-real hurts, bundling them up in the cold, indiana winters, rubbing sunscreen on their tan little bodies, brushing their teeth and trimming their nails, making three meals a day for years because they need me to, spanking and scolding, holding little hands, wiping big tears and bottoms, washing peed-in bedding and potty training, getting kicked out of my own bed, kisses on the lips, snotty noses wiped on my jeans and my couch, trips to the er and more stitches than i can count, holding little casted arms and legs in the air during baths, finding bottles of bath soap emptied in the tub and toilets stuffed with toilet paper and plastic cups, friday night pizza and movie ritual, big parties and quiet celebrations spent alone, putting away the high chair and crib for the last time. i have loved it, and hated it at times. but the joy that i find in the little things my kids do and say, their arms tight around my neck and their soft lips on mine, is better than any expensive car, luxurious vacation, or quiet evening. so much better.