too quiet.

my house is quiet. no one demanding a drink or begging for a snack. i have already talked to my mother for forty minutes and it is not yet ten. it's cold and rainy and dark. the baby is fiddling with the kitchen in the playroom and has turned the language dial to 'french.' how do you say 'i'd like my eggs overeasy on toast' en francais? oh well. roo is watching a movie downstairs. he is sprawled out over the chair. his number two usually slides right in beside him. his new number two is in training. it is so quiet here that i can hear the rain hitting the road. every few moments i hear the sound of light feet on the stairs and the baby's trademark moaning. he checks in and returns to wherever he was quietly playing before. we've had breakfast. we've made beds. we've showered and dressed. what do we do now? by this time each morning, rain or shine, we are being beckoned to the backyard for ball. we were yesterday. and the day before that. and all the days before that. so what are we to do now? our pitcher is gone. my recounter of useless mlb stats is conspicuously absent this morning. our organizer of backyard sporting events is gone. not for good. but most of the day. and the boss went with him. she's been absorbed into the all-day routine. who will play jonas brothers and taylor swift while i make beds and put away clothes? who will find and secretly consume any and all loose candy in the kitchen? please don't misunderstand. i love being with my little boys. the baby's life will remain somewhat unaffected. he hears no drum but his own. but the middle one? he is going to rediscover his place in this house. he seems a little unsure of his surroundings. for him, the boss is that friend. that friend that makes all situations, good and bad, okay. great, even. she kisses him when he's hurt, finds a snack when he's hungry, shares her blanket when he's cold. all other friends are rendered meaningless and obsolete because she is such a good friend. and for three, almost four years, she has been almost all the friend he has needed. he misses her. i miss her. she is a good, little friend. a funny, little bird. she'll be okay. and so will roo. but it's going to take some time. it's going to take some time for the little boys and i to get used to the quiet.