i had a moment of real clarity yesterday. and it wasn't just because the skies were clear. i took the two little boys out for a run, and by run i mean slow jog. bw rode his bike and gw sucked on a bob in the jogger. the air was clean and crisp. i love the smell of pine and freshly cut grass, mingled with the sights and sounds of new construction. we zigzagged our way through our small neighborhood, shouted hey! to a couple of friends, and talked about the new buzz and woody movie, aunt shell's upcoming wedding and what we were going to wear (bw would like to wear ball shorts and one of cw's old tshirts), and what we should do the rest of the day. pretty good conversation. we came to a point on our path where the road curves down and to the left. most of the lots are almost finished and it's kind of dead in that area. bw cruised on ahead. gw was quiet and i could hear my own labored breathing. and for the first time in a long time, it felt good to really push myself physically. i haven't done much by way of working out since i started having kids. i have relied a lot on my height and metabolism. they have done much for me these past seven years. it felt good to know that i still have a little bit of that drive i had thirteen years ago. and though there are no national championships to be won and no scholarships to chase, it still feels good to push beyond the limits of comfort. i have a good life. a great life. a gorgeous husband that loves me. quite a bit, i think. three boys that are wonderful; and like their father in so many ways. a beautiful little girl who exasperates and charms me at the same time. a mother who calls nearly everyday to say hey! to the kids and see how i am. two sisters that i love and that love me. good, strong in-laws and countless nieces and nephews. and they are all well and happy. i used to think mw was crazy when he said that running gave him a chance to clear his head. i still think he's crazy. for me it is turning out to be so much more. it is a chance to reflect on all that i have, all the blessings of health and happiness that surround me everyday. rain or shine.