so much for boring.

i ventured downtown to maberry to see if the sign "laundered shirts $1.19" was legitimate. bw accompanied me into the store where a young woman waited on us. i gave her my last name and lamented, aloud, the laidback boringness of the town. she agreed and informed me that she and her husband were moving, as they could no longer handle the smalltown atmosphere. she then looked at bw, looked at me, and said, "is that m's son?" yeah, it's like that here. apparently bw looks exactly like his dad. we said our goodbyes after promising to pick up our dry cleaning friday. after a quick stop at the ridiculously expensive grocery store, we were on our way home. (there are no super walmarts or super targets here. joy.) bw climbed out of his seat as i turned onto the gravel road that leads to our current home, sweet, home. he jumped into my lap to get a better look at the horses corralled in a small field to our left. aw shouted, "mom, that horse is loose! we need to get him before he gets hurt." i sighed and rolled my eyes. and proceeded to the house. i had frozen food and a sleeping baby g in the car. i heard the neighbor yell at me as i got out of the car. do you see what's in my driveway? she asked. is it a horse? i ask in reply. resigned to the fact that i am going to have to help her catch the horse, i take off jogging to the right and she takes off to the left. the horse is nowhere to be seen. i run out into the open field behind my in-laws yard. by now, cw and aw have caught up to me. still, no horse. and then there it is. running full tilt across the field, toward the main highway. i take off running. i notice four guys running across the field from the opposite direction. i would be glad to let them take care of the situation, but geometrically speaking, i have the angle on the horse. the neighbor lady runs back to get her car to try to stop traffic on the highway. so here i am. my thirty year old, prone-to-peeing-when-running self, sprinting across the pasture, chasing a miniature horse (ew!) that i have no emotional tie to, my two oldest children trailing behind me, shouting my name, begging me to save the horse. seriously? i catch up to the horse in an old lady's yard. and as i reach out to grab the bit, the horse kicks and takes off. what the hell am i doing? is all i am thinking at this point. what's my plan? if the horse makes it to the highway am i going to throw myself in front of a speeding car? and then i think, if this horse gets hit by a car my children will have massive emotional scarring. did i mention that everyone in mayberry and the surrounding area is addicted to beautifying their burnt-to-a-crisp lawns? so there are two old women watching this fantastic spectacle. three of the shirtless men catch up to me as a huge chevy truck comes barreling down a dirt driveway. the man inside pulls out onto the highway, sans yielding, and throws the truck into park. he jumps out of the truck as our track team reaches the highway. one of the old women makes a last ditch effort to stop the scrambling horse by throwing herself on it. it, of course, sidesteps, and she falls to the pavement. now i'm wondering who is going to carry the old woman with the broken hip back to her house. at this point, i am standing ten feet from the highway, my mouth hanging open. and the shirtless wonder, we'll call him tony, grabs the bit and pulls the horse from the road, seconds before a raspberry truck cruises by. the kids cheer. the old women cheer. i cheer. and tony highfives me. i don't know why. i was scared to death and praying the whole time that i would not have to actually touch the smelly, little thing. the other three guys throw tony a rope for the bit and one of them jumps in his truck (which he left in the middle of the highway). we start the long walk back to the house. the kids are more excited than i have ever seen them. "mom, you saved that horse! awesome." and then, after a few moments of contemplation, "actually, you didn't really do anything. except run across the field. you did run really fast though. but tony saved the horse." thanks guys. some good has come of this. i now know all of the neighbors. and apparently i do not pee my pants when i am running with a purpose.