a hairy debacle.

i bathed my beautiful daughter and set her on the chair with specific instructions. do not touch the comb in your "hairstuff" box, i said. exactly. that is exactly what i said. approximately two minutes later she entered the kitchen and pulled on my pant leg. when i peered down at her i found this:

i really had no idea what to do. my first instinct was to cry. i take great pride in the wonderfulness of her hair. it is perfect, perfect little girl hair. i stifled the sob that was rising in my throat and began pulling hair away from the comb. no good. it only got worse. i pulled hair away from the edges of the comb, with a fork, and then trimmed the comb. i continued to do this until only a small piece of the comb remained. i explained to her the seriousness of the situation. i may have stretched the truth a smidgen when i told her that we might have to cut bangs. ew, she said. i agree, said i. no more ponytails with tiny braids in the front. no more beautiful headbands. please mommy, she begged. make it okay. i will try, my beautiful child. but it will take a miracle. i know you can do it, mommy. i believe in you, she said. and so we pulled and we tugged and we pulled and we tugged. and we did it. ten long minutes. my mind raced over images of my sweet girl sans her hair. a flat top. a buzz cut. a mullet. alas, those styles were not to be hers. it was a true hoosier miracle. i was overwhelmed with gratitude, for i did not want to cut bangs.
the end result? good. oh mom, she said. i look beautiful again. i will never use the comb brush to make my hair curly ever, never again. i hope not, dear daughter. your hair is wonderful and shiny and straight and you will appreciate its straightness when you are older. it is thick and luscious and just good. good hair. do not touch it again. never, she said.

casualties are inevitable. you cannot make an omelet without breaking eggs. every cook will tell you that. my sewing scissors? gone. my kitchen scissors? gone. the comb? dusted. the fork has a few crooked tines. the dental pliers really came through for me in the end. i owe it all to them.