handlebars and happy birthday freakouts.

i took a few minutes for myself on saturday. i left the younger three home with dad and dropped cw at a birthday party. i had a mild panic attack shortly thereafter. i didn't go through my usual line of questioning. i much prefer the embarassment of being an overzealous parent to the paranoia that plagues me when i don't go through my embarassing routine. i'll give you a small sample and let you decide which one is preferable.

• do you have any wild animals that you keep as pets?
• any cats? they're just as bad.
• do you smoke?
• do you have my cell number?
• do you keep guns in your home? if yes, are they locked up and kept in a place too clever to be found by six year olds?
• do you want me to stay?

crazy, huh? no one else is going to ask them on cw's behalf. so back off. i called mw, who assured me that they were fine. we concluded that the kid in question was pretty normal (i've been in cw's class enough to build a somewhat educated judgment), that his house was clean and smelled smoke free, and that the presence of his other buddies at the party was a good sign.

that dilemma behind me, i headed to el eyebrow waxario. i decided to try the hand of fate. i mean, they're only eyebrows right? they grow back relatively quickly. so i ducked into the little asian nail and wax shop. i was whisked to a chair at the back of the store. i was high as a kite by the time i got there. but in a good way. from the deliciously poisonous nail fumes. i had no sooner parked my spread on the seat than the lady looked at me and said, "you lip hairy. you want me fix it? it hairy." what on earth do you say to that? it's not like i could argue with her. but it wasn't like i was sporting a handlebar either. she proceeded with my eyebrows. very hairy, she said. i asked her kindly to stop talking about my hairy upper lip, to no one in particular, in vietnamese. she stopped, looked at me, and said, "customer always come first. we no talk about you very hairy lip." yeah, right. it seriously took her four minutes to do my eyebrows and my lip and it was the least painful waxing i have ever encountered. cheap too. so i guess i can sit through the whispers and stares.