i love sprite. and mw.

this may look like an ordinary sprite bottle. however, the contents of this sprite bottle are anything but ordinary. go back with me two weeks. it was a cold, january morning. the kids and i had ventured out into the frigid air to take cw to school. i became thirsty, as i had not taken the time to eat breakfast before we left the house. i glanced down and found this sprite bottle, half full. i reasoned that it would be flat, very flat, but still very cold as well and thus, not quite so putrid. wrong. i opened the bottle and took what can only be described as a large gulp and as i swallowed i thought, "that's odd. i just purchased this beverage yesterday. it should still have some c-a-r-b-o-n-a-t-i-o-n-." at that precise moment some very pertinent information came to my remembrance. the evening prior, while retrieving mw's sister from the airport, mw mentioned that cw had relieved himself in a sprite bottle. apparently he forgot to throw "said" sprite bottle into the garbage when we arrived home. fast forward twelve hours. i had swallowed the urine before all of the facts came full circle. i gagged. i developed a temporary facial tic, much like the police officer who drinks the urine from the beer bottle in "dumb and dumber." when i opened the door to spit, cw screamed from the back seat, "close the door! you're going to get arrested and taken to jail! please, close the door!" and so. i drank pee. cw's pee, to be exact. and as i am a sprite-bottle-half-full type of girl, i am pleased to say that this terrible, horrible story does have a silver lining: we know, without a doubt, that cw is not diabetic.